My mom was catching her breath. She's having difficulties. I don't want to look at her because I don't want to cry. It's Christmas. We haven't attended mass yet. This is not good. This is the worst Christmas ever.
Maybe, the Christmas spirit do lessens when you age. I, for example, is not feeling the Christmas spirit lately. I don't know. Is it because i'm aging or is it because of times today? Where crises are booming all over here and there. I don't know but i think I should. Maybe I'm feeling wrong because Christmas isn't only for kiddos with crunchyyyy paper bills. Oh, I miss being a kid!
Last night my tears were jerking out of my eyes. It's midnight and we don't eat Noche Buena. Maybe because we're accustomed this way but I don't like how we're accustomed. I want to eat Noche Buena. Maybe I'm being a spoiled brat which sometimes I am, BUT I WANT TO EAT NOCHE BUENA WTIH MY FAMILY. Lately we haven't eaten as a whole family. I cannot even remember the last time we ate as a whole family, with the four of us in one table. And I hate it. We all have hectic schedules like shit.
I want to have a break with my family. Out of town maybe. Or maybe as simple as the mall. Anywhere. I just want to spend time with them. Unlike eating with them, I remember the last time we went out as a family. We watched Transformers 1. It was my dad's birthday by then. I cannot remember the year. Let me search it. 2008-07? I'm not sure of my sources lol. I just want to get away from it all and hug my mom, dad and my brotha.
Keyne texted my mom. And my mom asar-ed me like whut-the-hell. Fine with me. I missed my friend Keyne. Not miss-him-because-I-loved-him but missed-him-because-it's-been-a-while-since-we-talked. Do you get that? I don't care if you don't lol. I opened up to him. The things I've been feeling lately. And I'm glad he listened. I'd punch him sqaure in the face if he won't. Kit's being an ass as always.
Merry christmas everyone! I hope you're all okay. And happy. And smiling.
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